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I met Aimee in the fall of last year. I was searching for a female, preferably a mom, web designer to design LiveMom. I had the idea all in my head; the way I wanted it to look and feel, the function it would serve in the community and the impact it would have on the lives of local moms. I thought it was important to find a mama to do the job because I knew that trying to explain an idea, one that lived only inside of my head, for a website designed exclusively for local moms would be much more difficult when talking with a man. Yes, I needed someone to get me, to feel where I was coming from and where I wanted to go. Unfortunately, my quest for this mama web designer was a bit difficult and I thought I would have to resort to hiring a man to bring LiveMom out of my head and to life. So, I devised a plan of three- pick three potential designers, talk to them, hire one. Aimee was one of the three. I talked with her over the phone and found out that she and her husband Marc, of Blase Design, work together. She designs, he does the other stuff (see how knowledgeable I am!!). I asked her if she had any kids. This question must have caught her off guard because she admitted, very ambiguously, almost as if she wasn’t ready to say it out loud, that she was pregnant. Very newly pregnant. Yay!! I found the mama web designer that I wanted!! And, as they say, the rest is history. She was very in tune with me and she has played such an essential role in creating LiveMom. Throughout this long process, I’ve had the pleasure of watching her grow into her pregnancy and become more comfortable with the fact that she is going to BE A MOM. I thought it would be really cool to get inside of her head at the end of her pregnancy and then about a month or so after to see how her ideals and visions of motherhood and childbirth have changed. I wish that I would have written my pre-baby thoughts down to compare them after the little one arrived! It’s such a precious time that goes by so quickly, even though it feels like an eternity. Here’s part one of Aimee’s journey into motherhood.

Are you prepared physically, mentally and emotionally for a baby?
Um… not at all. Can you be? I just can’t imagine that anybody is ever prepared for what this is going to be like. I actually feel really lucky that I was able to remain pretty calm about the whole thing. To not get carried away with any notions of what it’s going to be like - to completely surrender control of this part of my life has been incredibly powerful. And for a person who runs their own business and is naturally a control freak, type-A, stress-case, for me to be able to say that I’m going with the flow is a big deal.

What are your expectations for when the baby finally comes?
We have quite a few friends with young children and they have been nice enough to throw all kinds of wisdom our way. So, I’m anticipating intense sleep deprivation for the next few years, the permeating smell of sour-milk-stained clothes, insurmountable piles of laundry, ear-piercing screaming and an intense joy that cannot be compared to any other experience on earth.

How do you and Marc imagine spending your first day at home with your son?
Sit and stare at baby – exclaim with astonishment that we have made a human being – repeat…

Do you want a lot of people to surround you during your transition into parenthood or would you rather go it alone?
Our families are in California, so, we decided to go it alone for a week, my parents will then come out for a bit followed by Marc’s parents. But, we have amazing parent-friends in and out of town, which I anticipate bombarding with all kinds of questions, requests and panic-induced phone calls at all hours. And we have great childless-friends in town, that I imagine we’ll be calling on to help keep us grounded in adult reality, to ensure that we don’t get sucked into the baby abyss for too long.

Do you think that you and Marc will make a good “team”- switching off sleeping, diaper changes, etc. or do you think you will take the lead?
Our initial discussions of having a kid consisted mainly of: “and we’ll be doing this – all of this – 50/50 – right?”…”that means everything… sleeping, diapers, feeding (when bottles are introduced), playing, walking, etc. – right?”…”’Cause I am not doing this alone!”. Luckily Marc totally agreed. We both work at home and are pretty much together 24 hours a day. We work remarkably well together, and I don’t see the baby being an exception.

How do you envision the birth going?
Seven months ago I was of the drug-me-up-and-take-it-out mindset. That was out of fear and ignorance. Since then, we have done some reading and watching (especially the documentary “The Business of Being Born”) that has changed our minds quite a bit. I never thought I would even consider a natural – let alone - home birth, but, after watching that documentary we were both intrigued. Unfortunately, the majority of this education has taken place in the last month, making switching our plans for birth too much for us to handle. So, we are still going the hospital route. We really like our doctor and everybody at her practice seems really great about respecting the parent birth plans. I also understand that entering a hospital for a birth means monitoring and a lot more possibility for intervention, so, we are going to be as calm and open minded about the whole process as we can. Having said all that – I envision labor starting on the morning of our due date after a great nights sleep, we’ll stay at home as long as possible, get to the hospital at about seven centimeters, have great progress immediately, no need for pitocin, have a handle on the pain thanks to my super-hero husband’s unwavering support and magical massaging hands, deliver the baby vaginally without complication and then arrive home to find a million dollars in gold bullion on our front porch.

Are you planning on using any type of assistance (pain killers) for the birth or are you planning all natural?
Like I said, I’m ready for the hospital experience. I am actually open to an epidural pain meds. But, I think pitocin is over-used these days and I am apprehensive about it being involved in our birth at all (I read that a 1992 survey done by Robbie Davis-Floyd at UT found that 81% of US hospital births are augmented by pitocin, while some claim that it is only necessary in 3% of births. Based on my Internet research – not necessarily highly reliable, but, intriguing nonetheless.)

Do you expect to be induced or will you hold out for it to happen on it’s own for as long as possible?
My mom was apparently a month late with both me and my sister. Which, may be accounted for by inaccurate memories or poor science - I’m not sure that I can believe it. However, we were large babies (my sister was almost 10 pounds), so it’s possible. Our doctor has said that she would rather not let us go a week past our due date - that she would want to induce at that point. Again, I’d rather not go the pitocin route, so, we have been walking a lot, etc… not sure that the caster oil will come out – but, we’ll see.

Do you think you will bond with the baby right away?
Geez I hope so, because I don’t think they let you give it back. Seriously, I have no idea. I can only imagine that being handed a child – your child – is a surreal experience. I’d say Marc and I are taking the stress-free approach here too. We will let this experience happen to us and be present and in each moment. If we put expectations on everything including bonding with our baby I think we’ll be in for trouble.

How do you think you will feel when you first see your newborn son?
I imagine relief, happiness, fear, panic and an overwhelming sense of calm – I think that having a child automatically forces you to put life into a totally different perspective. For the past ten years we have been focused on success in business and self-centered fun. This is going to shake us to our core and I’m completely looking forward to it.

You are keeping the name a secret until he’s here, right? Can you give us a hint??
Yep.
A hint - um… it’s a robust name – the first, middle and last names together consist of eight syllables – and that’s a lot considering our last name is only one. Marc and Aimee - while our names had interesting spellings, are really pretty common and we both wanted something a bit more unusual for our kid. We also both agreed that a longer name allowed for options – the name can be shortened into a few choices for nicknames and alternatives for him.

Wish us luck! We’ll keep you posted.

Posted by livemom on Saturday, April 26th, 2008 at 2:55 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.