Comments for LiveMom.com - Dedicated to building a better village http://www.livemom.com Dedicated to building a better village Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:47:23 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 Comment on Thursday’s Dish: Dinner’s Online by BareNakedFamily http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/11/thursdays-dish-dinners-online/comment-page-1/#comment-3031 BareNakedFamily Thu, 11 Mar 2010 22:47:23 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1290#comment-3031 I had to post simply because I have fallen in love with another woman. I know I'm married and all, but visit www.ThePioneerWoman.com and see if you can hold it together! Her cooking and food links are way cool and my most favorite realistic approach to cooking for a Family. I had to post simply because I have fallen in love with another woman. I know I’m married and all, but visit http://www.ThePioneerWoman.com and see if you can hold it together! Her cooking and food links are way cool and my most favorite realistic approach to cooking for a Family.

]]> Comment on Let’s Talk About Therapy by Lori http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/10/lets-talk-about-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3028 Lori Thu, 11 Mar 2010 19:41:23 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1286#comment-3028 i have experienced couples counseling in my first marriage and in my marriage to josh. in my first marriage, my ex went to only one session with his arms crossed over his chest and ready to argue every single point the counselor made....thus that being my first marriage. okay, that's a snarky statement. the reality is that my first marriage was in a bad state from day one and counseling was a last ditch effort on my part and not an effort on my ex's part. josh and i have been down some really tough roads together and sought marriage counseling after experiencing a miscarriage and not being able to heal together afterward. the counseling turned out to be a bad deal on many levels. we chose a counseling team, which sounded good on paper, but in reality, it turned into an "us" against "them" thing where the counselors played good cop/bad cop and took turns siding with either josh or me. i also found that the counselors were overly fascinated with my childhood issues and wouldn't stay on the topic of helping me and josh as a couple. we gave it about 10 weeks, and then said "no thanks." we did not have insurance coverage initially but were able to get a decent amount of our cost refunded after jumping through plenty of hoops and filing reams of paperwork. we did not actually get help from these counselors, but we did bond over how much they sucked and just talking about that got us in a mode of talking about other things. i have to say, though, that two kids, two tough births and recoveries, and almost 5 years later, we are once again facing communication issues. i agree that counseling after marriage should be encouraged just as much if not more than counseling before marriage. it is just too easy to get bogged down in the daily details and to lose sight of yourself as a part of a couple. i have experienced couples counseling in my first marriage and in my marriage to josh. in my first marriage, my ex went to only one session with his arms crossed over his chest and ready to argue every single point the counselor made….thus that being my first marriage. okay, that’s a snarky statement. the reality is that my first marriage was in a bad state from day one and counseling was a last ditch effort on my part and not an effort on my ex’s part.

josh and i have been down some really tough roads together and sought marriage counseling after experiencing a miscarriage and not being able to heal together afterward. the counseling turned out to be a bad deal on many levels. we chose a counseling team, which sounded good on paper, but in reality, it turned into an “us” against “them” thing where the counselors played good cop/bad cop and took turns siding with either josh or me. i also found that the counselors were overly fascinated with my childhood issues and wouldn’t stay on the topic of helping me and josh as a couple. we gave it about 10 weeks, and then said “no thanks.” we did not have insurance coverage initially but were able to get a decent amount of our cost refunded after jumping through plenty of hoops and filing reams of paperwork. we did not actually get help from these counselors, but we did bond over how much they sucked and just talking about that got us in a mode of talking about other things. i have to say, though, that two kids, two tough births and recoveries, and almost 5 years later, we are once again facing communication issues. i agree that counseling after marriage should be encouraged just as much if not more than counseling before marriage. it is just too easy to get bogged down in the daily details and to lose sight of yourself as a part of a couple.

]]> Comment on Let’s Go Camping! by Shannon O. http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/06/lets-go-camping/comment-page-1/#comment-3023 Shannon O. Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:13:14 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1277#comment-3023 That stinks! There was a sign by the fishing piers intimating that camping was allowed and had a number to call. Sorry to mislead you. That stinks! There was a sign by the fishing piers intimating that camping was allowed and had a number to call. Sorry to mislead you.

]]> Comment on Let’s Talk About Therapy by Jill http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/10/lets-talk-about-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3019 Jill Wed, 10 Mar 2010 20:29:02 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1286#comment-3019 Mike & I had couples counseling before we got married and it really helped me!!! My parents have a rocky marriage & Tons of communicating problems so I was afraid of having a marriage like that!! I think it was great for us, but we were both very open to it! As for insurance paying for it, they did! The counseler knew a way around the system so I think we only had to pay a co-pay! I think counseling can be really helpful, but as Andria said both parties have to be open to it!! Mike & I had couples counseling before we got married and it really helped me!!! My parents have a rocky marriage & Tons of communicating problems so I was afraid of having a marriage like that!! I think it was great for us, but we were both very open to it! As for insurance paying for it, they did! The counseler knew a way around the system so I think we only had to pay a co-pay! I think counseling can be really helpful, but as Andria said both parties have to be open to it!!

]]> Comment on Let’s Talk About Therapy by Andria http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/10/lets-talk-about-therapy/comment-page-1/#comment-3017 Andria Wed, 10 Mar 2010 18:43:41 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1286#comment-3017 My husband and I are currently separated, and here's what I learned about counseling: You both have to be open. When we went to couples counseling, I opened up, and admitted my faults and failures as a wife. My husband later used those things against me, and would scream, "See, you even admitted that you blah, blah, blah". So, it definitely helps, if both are willing to discuss issues, and not take it out on the other person later. My husband and I are currently separated, and here’s what I learned about counseling: You both have to be open. When we went to couples counseling, I opened up, and admitted my faults and failures as a wife. My husband later used those things against me, and would scream, “See, you even admitted that you blah, blah, blah”. So, it definitely helps, if both are willing to discuss issues, and not take it out on the other person later.

]]> Comment on Parentnoia by Catherine http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/09/parentnoia/comment-page-1/#comment-3011 Catherine Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:05:26 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1284#comment-3011 That's funny, Christina! I can relate to that as well since I have a zoo at my house. Those little critters are our babies too! But just imagine magnifying that feeling by a thousand- that's how it feels when you have kids. That’s funny, Christina! I can relate to that as well since I have a zoo at my house. Those little critters are our babies too! But just imagine magnifying that feeling by a thousand- that’s how it feels when you have kids.

]]> Comment on Parentnoia by Onely http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/09/parentnoia/comment-page-1/#comment-3010 Onely Wed, 10 Mar 2010 02:01:54 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1284#comment-3010 HAHA! Parentnoia! I think I am seeing glimmers of this with my cats. They are being neutered on Friday and I am so nervous. I paid extra for Laser instead of Scalpel because just the word "scalpel" made me want to throw up. Never mind that these people do this for a living--I still don't trust them with my babies' cojones. Christina HAHA! Parentnoia! I think I am seeing glimmers of this with my cats. They are being neutered on Friday and I am so nervous. I paid extra for Laser instead of Scalpel because just the word “scalpel” made me want to throw up. Never mind that these people do this for a living–I still don’t trust them with my babies’ cojones.

Christina

]]> Comment on Parentnoia by Sadia http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/09/parentnoia/comment-page-1/#comment-3000 Sadia Tue, 09 Mar 2010 19:18:00 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1284#comment-3000 I think it changes. First of all, the reality that you can't be a perfect parent and still model balance for your children sets in. I worry, but I'm a worrier at heart. I see the same character trait in one of my twins, so I try to demonstrate the ways in which I've learned to manage my fears so that I can teach her to manage hers. As I've become a more experienced parent, I've learned to trust my own judgment. When it came to car seats, I pored over safety reports, and am glad I did. However, I let my children play with "3+" toys at age two, since I knew they weren't going to pop anything in their mouths. I think the biggest change is that I've become confident in my expertise in making safety decisions for my children, and am no longer scared to speak up for the child-rearing choices my husband and I have made together. I think it changes. First of all, the reality that you can’t be a perfect parent and still model balance for your children sets in. I worry, but I’m a worrier at heart. I see the same character trait in one of my twins, so I try to demonstrate the ways in which I’ve learned to manage my fears so that I can teach her to manage hers.

As I’ve become a more experienced parent, I’ve learned to trust my own judgment. When it came to car seats, I pored over safety reports, and am glad I did. However, I let my children play with “3+” toys at age two, since I knew they weren’t going to pop anything in their mouths.

I think the biggest change is that I’ve become confident in my expertise in making safety decisions for my children, and am no longer scared to speak up for the child-rearing choices my husband and I have made together.

]]> Comment on Parentnoia by Andria http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/09/parentnoia/comment-page-1/#comment-2996 Andria Tue, 09 Mar 2010 13:04:37 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1284#comment-2996 I think it disappears with each child. I went by the registry guidelines for my first child, and ended up with loads of baby gear that I never used, or was just downright non-helpful. I phased some of it out with my second child, and now that I'm pregnant with my third, I can say that I think I finally have what I need figured out. Breast, onesies, and a sling. That's what gets my babies comforted! I think it disappears with each child. I went by the registry guidelines for my first child, and ended up with loads of baby gear that I never used, or was just downright non-helpful. I phased some of it out with my second child, and now that I’m pregnant with my third, I can say that I think I finally have what I need figured out.
Breast, onesies, and a sling. That’s what gets my babies comforted!

]]> Comment on Let’s Go Camping! by Catherine http://www.livemom.com/2010/03/06/lets-go-camping/comment-page-1/#comment-2987 Catherine Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:35:55 +0000 http://www.livemom.com/?p=1277#comment-2987 That would have been a great option, Shannon. Unfortunately, they said (I just called them to check) that the council voted against it because they didn't think it was an appropriate location for camping. That would have been convenient!! I can't find any available sites, especially for just one night, during Spring Break so it looks like our camping trip will be slightly delayed. I think we may just take a little road trip and make it a day at one of the parks- Inks Lake sounds really nice. Will have to check out Lost Maples. That would have been a great option, Shannon. Unfortunately, they said (I just called them to check) that the council voted against it because they didn’t think it was an appropriate location for camping. That would have been convenient!!

I can’t find any available sites, especially for just one night, during Spring Break so it looks like our camping trip will be slightly delayed. I think we may just take a little road trip and make it a day at one of the parks- Inks Lake sounds really nice. Will have to check out Lost Maples.

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